happie?sad?

i was so so so excited because tommorrow.. sat, is PONGGAL FESTIVAL..hehe.. my fren, indians invited for a ponggal festival which will be celebrated tmr at dewan putra 9 am.

but im too very nervous because today got such exam.. econs ppl.. aiks..ive been really really studying.my effort is really there.commitment.everything.wow.

and this morning,chin heng msg me and say...he is going to fetch me cz qi jia not goin to school. i dont know why.

and after recess,chin keong and hamsap kia went disappear.and i got speaking exam.aiks.
i made a harsh decision to ask daddy fetch me...he say ok.. and i knew my decision was RIGHT.

before leaving house,i saw my uncle.lol.he is back from aussie again.hehe

then i reach SV quite early.when every1 was thr, i phone up qi ke jia. he say he will be late.so i inform miss lim. then she say mun jie and qj is already been blacklisted at school.aiks.

after a moment he reach, i turn and say

me : oi budak.teacher say you been blacklisted.
him: o.

and that was his only answer to me.his reaction was...undescibeable.

i dont wat the hell is wrong woth me.my tears went drop without reason.
my mind full of questions and memory.

i dont even know what is miss lim talking about. then i decided to go toilet.

and i told sueh yeen.she was shocked i think.

and i started to be damm moody.

then.. there it goes the exam.im being so nervous.i dont know why. and i FORGET ALL DAMM FORMULAE!!ergh.

im superly frust and pek chek during that time.

again.my tears drop.and i really dont know why.(can any1 explain?)

and my mind is full of HIM.

wen ask y m i crying. lol. miss lim get to know too. paise betul.aiz.

and so. i told wen then wai quan.

then marilyn msg me out of sudden and he ask m i ok... you know.. frenx... sure will force til say rite? n i told him.
thnx ppl or lending ears.

m i too good to you til you avoid me?
or because my attitude problem?
izit because im not as slim as other gurl?
or izit because you thought that i love you?

your ans will only be "o." "hm." "a."
you know how hurt it is when im teling you so many things and your respond was only that word?
sometimes i really feel like telling you, i hope WE ARE FRIENDS.but can it happens?
do you treat me like how your buddy ?
or all these while im only being "one-handed"?
do you care for me?
do you?
as a fren?

i ask you a que.what if i die a day. will you cry?
you know what is your answer?you say DUNNO.
you know how hurt it is?

you know how my heart will feel when you were telling that "thr's ntg much to say between us?"

i miss the moment when you ask "will you be my fren if someday u become thin?"
you know how it feel?
i can really feel the friendship is there.
now???

first person that i spoke to when im at 6b7.
first time of l4f u bring me to.
first time a guy fren bring me fro and back from school.
first time bringing a guy to c doctor and act like a mother.
first time treat a guy as a really best fren.
and THAT'S YOU.


but what i get at last?
a no answers questions??

i really wanted to make you talk much. but the extend that you can say is only 5 words.
which is just now.

"are you following my car?"

ever since i decided to put this incident on blog. im ready to face anything which was you were feel AWKWARD AND NOT TO SPOKE TO ME.
ANYMORE.

also. i realise my bestie found her coll life is good now.she meet her bestie. and ive lost her.

my tears arent dropping.
but im crying really loud now.

tears.
frenship-lost.