the last word.

today is 30th dec.
a day before new year eve.
a day before me getting ready to clean up my class room.
and the day my grandpa leave me=[.

this morning,my bro wake me up.he seldom do that.unless there's emergency.
i hate him waking me up.i rather his son(johnson) using his leg and kick my head calling my full name and wake me up.
i knew something bad happen.
but i din thought that serious.

he say...
wake up.grand pa pass away already.
i hate him for him making this joke.im very very angry and hate him.

so i stood up and searcd for my mummy.
and i saw her eyes were red. and she's packing.
and i know its all true of my grandpa leaving me.

i hate y grandpa cause leaving us with so much of memory.
i miss his loud voice
i miss his smile
i miss when he is talking
i miss everything of him.
i miss him using my room as his room when nobody wants to stay with him.

i hate myself of never talk to him.
i hate things happen to him before his death
i hate myself of being selfish

i would never forget what he always did on chinese new year.
his milo,his durian,his biscuit.

eventhough sometimes i only meet him once or twice a year,
but doesnt mean i dont know how much he loves us.
he cares for us and he never selfish for himself.

im honoured to be your grandchild.even im just a little girl for you.
im too honoured to be your most lovable daughter's daughter.

but you leave us without a word.
i dont want your money i dont want your harta.
we dont want it either.
because what we wants is your word and your breath.

i still remember the last word that i spoke to you is when you call mum
asking her to buy you your medicine.
you still sounds good that time.
and the second day.
you were still strong and sonuds firm.
but....
i hate to say bye whenever hang up calls.i hope i never hang up the calls.

i miss you grandpa.
tears-chia po.