To you : LEF

I'm so attached to you. Imy. Yes I do until I dunno how to put into words. Hate myself being like this for so many bloody days!
I just can't recover :( I'm not strong yet not tough . Please be by my side:( watching u from the back is the worst feeling I've ever had. ;'(
Please tell me you miss me to.
Bi.

Sorry that I love u...

I'm in deep shit . I know this shouldn't come at this time .
I start missing you .
Starting to stalk u where I can know u better .
Starting to question why u din reply when u reply late.
Starting not to care your weaknesses .

Where I know this shouldn't happen when I know u still missing her .

Love is difficult .
I think I like u .

:(

After so long , I decided to post . Wasn't something good.
I'm so stressed up !! Tired moody and super f*ck up :( the distance is getting bigger and bigger .the mre it is the more I feel I'm left out .
Im losing myself .I dunno where is my confidence . I dunno where is the original me . I feel so bad all the time . I feel lonely . All the time I'm alone . This is the now me . I'm imperfect . I'm not rich . I'm not as highly educated . I'm not pretty . I'm just a piece of thing . Perhaps , I'm useless . I'm tired of all this . When I'm really down , I can't even find some one to talk to . True friends ? I think I have to use binocular and find . :( depressed .
I need a total new network so badly !!!

We have become the world's most familiar strangers

Do you still remember
that moonlit ocean outside the window
do you still remember
it was love that lit our night

Why did we later
depend on silence
The star that used to shine brightly
gradually turned into mist

After heartbreak you left,
turned around and returned to waiting
Is it because of loneliness
that we search for someone to fill in our empty hearts

We have become the world's
most familiar strangers
From today on we each go through complications individually
grieve individually

Just blame it on loving too fiercely
loving too deeply
Finally we are awake from the dream, stranded and silent, waving goodbye
yet we can't return to our spirits

If, at our first meeting, we were able to tolerate
our excited souls,
maybe tonight I will not let
myself sink into my memories

fattttttttttttttttttttttttt

why m i so FAT?!?!??!?! ergh!!!!!

i talk about you. you talk about that person.
i concern about you. you concern about that person.
what eva you told me what u feel . i feel that for you.
whateva that I THINK im suppose to know . but i dont get it from you.

since there is already a replacement , good to both of us. CHEERS =) im glad.

ya ya.my fault , my bad that makes you cry in front of your friend. because im harsh enough and did not fully utilize my brain cell to THINK before i speak. =)

so. see? how good is now right?
i cannot see any reason on the moment you pissed and ignored.

say it all out. im dramatic im full of expression.
i am. dats what made me ng su sin.

i remembered something. she's right. 2 years back. she utter these sentences from her mouth " im not like you. no matter how close we are , i WONT 100% trust you. " yet , again , i did not take that words into consideration , falling into the same trap again. LOL!!!

not im repelling you. not that i dont want to talk to you. is you that let me off. our heart WAS tied before. it was all just BEFORE.

birthday wishes...

seriouly thinking what m i suppose to get for myself during this year birthday...
after long consideration , ....
and if i could.....
i wish to have a very simple birthday present.
i want a piece of blank paper...
an automatic pen.......

not greedy right?
just two of that. would have > than enough.
to let me express what i wan to express... non-stop expressing.
jot down as fast as what my brain is processing. let it all out and never remain in my brain.

im tired.